There's Gonna Be a Payoff...

I had an epiphany the other day...there's going to be a payoff for this child-rearing thing.  I'm talking mostly about surviving teenagers.  (I'd take toddlers and little kids any time.)  I was consulting with a client and he wanted a custom piece made for his wife that included a central heart with 24 set crystals to represent the years they have been married, and the grandkids' names.  O.K.  "What about your kids, do you want them on here?"

He answered me with a noticeably fast and non-chalant, "No."  Allrighty-then.  Just the grandkids it is!  It dawned on me:  He has moved forward, moved on.  His grankids are his life now.  He and his wife have survived enough of the headaches of parenthood and they are ready to enjoy life from the bleachers.  Just watching and enjoying little people again.  Can I tell you, that after the week I've had so far, that sounds pretty GREAT! 

Amy, I have your Elvis necklace ready...

"Thank you very much..."

Saturdays

It's interesting.  When reading other blogs I frequently come across the ones that, every Friday, go on and on about their fun weekend plans.  "My weekend is going to be full of flower fairs and antique swap meets..."  Seriously, when was the last time I was able to take an entire day to play!  Saturday, everyone is home and it's the one time I can really put them to work.  (O.K., I sound a bit triumphant at doing that, but the reality is, I'm not that great of a drill sargeant.)  Nothing sings "clean" like Saturday.  And who do I always turn to?

Oh, Swiffer.  I have all the gadgets.  (Except the vacuum one.)  My life has been made easier by this little friend.  Mopping used to completely frazzle me.  (Do I use the sink?  Or do I use a bucket?  I know. It's the little things that do my frail little mind in.)  I hate dirty mop heads and I hate even more pushing a DIRTY mop head around while I'm trying to make the floor CLEAN.  I found Swiffer three years ago, and I have not turned back.  I am their most loyal customer.  (Nothing tickles me more than their mopey-mop commercials...they're so human like!)If you haven't

tried one, you really must!  Really.  Don't even get me started on the Swiffer Duster...I gotta go clean.

(If you go to their site, swiffer.com, you can download coupons!)

You need an exterminator like MY exterminator

Not many people, other than your family, are going to see your ENTIRE house; walk through every room, bathroom, look under the kitchen sink, go in the closet, the MESSY closet.  Unless you're trying to sell your house, nobody visits these little crevices in your home.  No one except...the exterminator!   And you want him to walk every square inch of the place...spraying every nook and cranny.  Please don't miss a spot!  But were you ready for him?  Was the house picked up and everything looking like you run a tight ship?
 Not here.  I'm lucky if I even REMEMBER the appointment. 

When my bugman comes, I typically find myself apologizing about the mess.  "So sorry you have to see this!"  And do you know what he tells me?  Everytime?  (I love to hear him say this...)  He says, "Angela, I always say a house should be clean enough to be healthy, and messy enough to be happy."  "Oh, I really like you!"  I tell him.  (And  secretly I really want him to tell me too that he's seen worse, MUCH worse!) 

This Momma's Resumé

Now I'm not looking for a job...

But I have to admit, in my day to day mom-duties, there are times that I  envision my "Mother-Resumé". 

I think it would have quite a dramatic effect actually written out. 

I wouldn't actually know where to begin...

But some accomplishments stand out more than others in my mind:

Occupation:  Domestic Engineer (Oh, you bet I write this on ALL forms that I am asked to fill out!)

Education:  High School

                  All the college I WANTED to attend.

Accomplishments:

I have given birth 8 times!  (I still can't believe I was pregnant for 72 months of my life!  6 years. That's more than 1/6 of my entire life!)

I produced a high school valedictorian in my own humble womb.  (You assumed I knew how to put the accent on "Resumé"?  No.  I got help from her.  Special note:  Anything I do that looks accelerated, it's a safe bet that I probably received her assistance.)

I have kept the same beauhunk around for 20 years.  (And he still likes me.)

My latest and most proud accomplishment...I have pottytrained 8 toddlers!  Yes, eight people in this world are wearing underpants because of me.  I'm not bragging, I'm just relieved it's over, done, mission accomplished!  Do you know what it's like to have diapers and wipes on your shopping list for almost 20 years!  Maybe some of you do. I'm just busy dreaming up the ways I will spend this extra $40 a month!

It all boils down to this:  There's light at the end of the tunnel.  There are going to be rewards for your hard work and diligence.  Even if it's you giving your own self a pat on the back.  Good job, girl!  You perservered and YOU DID IT!